Saturday, October 29, 2011

Keikiechtomy is a New Word

A perky keiki atop Den. Berry 'Oda' AM/AOS
This is a difficult post to write -- not because I'm inexperienced in creating fake words -- but Lan Lan is laying directly over my wrists. She bites if I move too quickly.

My Dendrobium Berry 'Oda' AM/AOS endured a keikiechtomy yesterday. The link will take you to a photo showing what the plant looked like under Griffin's care two years ago. Now, it's all grown up ... with a kid!

A Newly Liberated Keiki
Experienced Cats and Catts readers know that keikis are little offshoot plants that grow off of some epiphytic orchid species. They're clones of the mother plant; they have identical genes. "Keiki" means "baby" in Hawaiian, but in other cultures it means "free orchid." "Keikiechtomy" is a word I created a few minutes ago to refer to the process of removing keikis from mother plants. 

Here's my three-step keikiechtomy process:
Step One: Use a razor blade to hack haphazardly at the mother plant. Repeat until the keiki falls off.
Step Two: Pot the keiki in a gigantic pot with poor drainage.
Step Three: Make sure the keiki is unstable and can be knocked over with ease.

Actually, you should do the opposite of most of that.

Keikis sometimes need extra support.
It's best to conduct keikiechtomies in the Spring, but my keiki's roots were sufficiently long and I was bored. I would have placed the keiki and some wet sphagnum moss in a half-opened plastic bag for a month or so if the roots needed a boost.

Lan Lan looked up the word "Keikiechtomy" on Google and it yielded zero results, so I'm assuming full and complete copyright ownership. I shall relinquish my intellectual property rights if, and only if, someone wants to name their punk band "Keikiechtomy."

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